It was requested of me to blog about some things that I did last week. I would love to, but I feel that in order to understand the place that I am in fully I must start from the beginning.
Rewind to 1079 days ago:
I was minding my own business in a relationship when on my Fetlife profile, this dude messages me. He likes my pictures and gives the old line about me "looking familiar". He has no friends on his account. He's really adorable, but I'm in a relationship (as on the rocks as it was at the time) so just keeping it to conversation and forcing (and I do mean forcing) myself to behave. After all, I do love conversation. There is nothing more intriguing to me than learning what makes a person tick. Even more so if it's something dirty.
It took 3 messages before I had the presence of mind to tell him my name. He kept making it clear that his only agenda was friendship, but something in the Universe told me that he was more interesting than that.
A few months later, things were on the rocks in my relationship and I had changed some things in my profile. I hadn't messaged him in awhile because I was staying away from that profile completely for reasons that don't fit here. He offered to give me his number which I declined because my ex and I started working our crap out (notice a trend yet?). Out of loyalty and much to my chagrin, I ended conversation with my new friend. I had allowed myself to become smitten, and I knew that my current relationship knew it, and it was either fall down the rabbit hole or be led back to the mental institution and my straight jacket that were the familiar. As unhappy as it made me, I chose the latter.
A year later:
My relationship dissolved (gasp, surprise). I messaged him randomly. We chatted a whole bunch. I was so happy to be talking to him again. Alas, the relationship was attempting to reconcile yet again, and the plans that he and I made to meet dissolved yet again.
More to come...
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