Vanquish

 "Just because I am not outwardly asking for anything
doesn't mean that I am not inwardly pleading for your everything"

To be not just that girl
Your company or mere companionship
But to be THE girl in your eyes
Oh for Pete's sake
You are the one that I breathe fire for
One millisecond in my mind
And I'm standing here smiling like I've just learned how to

I want the passion that builds
When two have a deep and mutual craving for each other
The one that leaves me longing
Awake at night reaching for you
As you need me so much too
That you hunt me down in only the place we know to find each other
You captured me with your illusion of desire to be inside my thoughts
A black cloud of carefully placed words
I have found myself falling for you at a terrifying rate
This growing anticipation is requiring a patience that
Leaves me feeling like I'm going to hit the wall any moment now

I want the novel turned Rom-Com
But I don't want the process
I'm not too sure about the apologies and cynicism and the binge drinking
The tears and breakups and friends opinions can see themselves out of the plot line too
Which then begs the question
Why do we have to lose love to learn to appreciate it?
Can't we just love what we have when it's in front of us the first time?
And then we laugh and high five because we did anything but that

Deep within I am repairing
But you've chosen to live inside there and rip to shreds
I've known for awhile, my love
The impact you were going to have on me
Every piece I sutured carefully
I'm convinced I'm going to go mad
Under these deafening alarms I'm trying to ignore
Trying to thread the needle when all I can see or hear is you

I wanted to look into your eyes and fight about it
Screw apologies that I owe to myself
Kiss and make up about it
Ego screams "Never in this lifetime"
You need to be the one to get out of this vortex
Because I am not ever going to be able to stop dropping everything for you
I surrender so easily without a single punch thrown
My bulletproof plan was defective
The exit wounds match my smeared lipstick
Save the sulking for someone who isn't dying to feel important in your arms
I hung my DO NOT DISTURB signal up
But you still managed to find your way in
That's not why we're here
We miss that thing we do
Our dirty games
Ending in swearing that I'll quit you
One touch quiets the exclamation marks again
Maybe next time